The Gulmohar Wonder !

There is a bloom  around everywhere, I saw it while coming back home ....its the yellow bloom of the gulmohar, magnificiently stretched along the road. I asked the cab driver, if he could halt for a second and I captured this view from the top. The bloom this season is more yellow. Though couldn't help but was trying to notice the crimson red flower. I  didn't see that. There is something about this gulmohar tree. Its so magnificently flamboyant and guess when combined with the red  flowers, its simply awesome. 

Apparently known as the flame of the forest. Here's a tree, when in bloom the entire tree is engulfed with either yellow or red or orange blooms, revealing very few leaves. Breathtakingly Beautiful! nothing compares to this. I knew I will find the red n orange crimson bloom somewhere. I decided to check upstairs, went on the terrace and there it was. one of the branches was spread inside...I could get a closer look now. It was exactly the way I thought it would be.. Isn't it amazing that something as beautiful as this, can do wonders to the soul and the mind. Full of life, vibrancy, radiant..its like a full tapestry of colors along the way till your eyes can find the end. In some time it will be monsoon,  Ah ha! the water flowing through the leaves on to these red color blooms, it cant get better than this. 

I remember at my grandma's house in belgaum...we had the gulmohar trees stretched on either side of the road (both the red and yellow)..Me and my sister, used to play under its soothing shade, on the bright red carpet formed by the myraid petals that had fallen detached by the gentle breeze. During the early morning walks, it use to feel as if you are walking on a carpet of red and yellow blooms......Just a thought, where do we get to walk like this anymore.,  bare- feet n carefree...........

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The Black and White Magic!

"Barsaat"

Today morning, while surfing the channel- there was an Old classic movie going on"Barsaat". Amazing movie with some of the best songs in hindi cinema. Not so much keen on watching a movie in the morning, but I knew mom and dad, would love to watch the movie. I didn't change the channel and they heard the evergreen song "jiya bekarar hai". Its the same time dad noticed and asked...is this movie playing and i said yes....and he remarked " hope you won't change the channel now"..I nodded. And they both sat down to watch the movie .the bliss of watching a movie and reminiscing about the golden era. It takes us back to the time...when the times ere different, when life was more simpler and more beautiful. 

For their generations, it is reliving the times again, cause life isn't the same anymore. I could see for sometime, they had travelled back to their younger days. The carefree life they had that time.  I could see dad transfixed to the screen...am sure secretly he must be wishing that I really don't change the channel ( I do at times). Sensing this, I assured him, that I really wouldn't do that. At the same time, mom mentioned, she had watched this movie with a friend of hers. They didn't get the tickets for the particular show...but they managed to view it through the little parting of the curtains in the movie hall. She chuckled like a school girl, Wow! That was quite something for me to view. I wish I had the camera in hand at that time...would have clicked her. I rarely get to see my parents like this, so carefree...It is at these times is that I  notice the child in them, the youthfulness of their yesteryears.

There is something about these black and white movies, they make the actors look so appealing . Infact I  noticed today, the actor Premnath (who would have thought he would look great), he looked quite amazing, rugged. Almost to the effect of I falling in love with him..his character was that of a Casanova. he looked more handsome than Raj kapoor...This is the effect of Black n white, they just make it quite alluring .There's something so ethereal in black and white pictures. Be it a snap or you are watching a black n white movie. The effect is magnificent. They give us a feeling of yesteryears. Probably one of the reasons, why we feel nostalgic about these picture.

Black n white also reminds me of Alfred Hitchcock. movies....(fantastic.movies).....well more on them on a later date. If you do get to watch B/W movies.., you will notice a shift in your mood and if you have older people in your life, then I don't have to say anything........just enjoy watching them!

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God's Special Child!

I was standing near the door of my classroom,  waiting for the kids to come back. They were being toilet trained. Its amazing to see how these kids manage everything well, and their lively-ness is infectious. they are the most comfortable with the aayas (maids) of the school, guess over there they get to be themselves , get to speak in their native language. Its fun to watch them grow from little toddler to smart little cuties!. keeping their innocence intact is the need of the hour, am doing my best to keep it that way. My thoughts were with the kids, when suddenly the principal called and asked me to come in few mins to her desk.

While walking towards the cabin, I noticed some commotion at the corridor,  was curious to what was happening. And there I saw him slouching in the chair, with his head drooping in the front. I had an uncanny feeling about all this. I reached a little closer, and I realized my eyes were moist. He was God's special child. My heart went out for this little one and I couldn't help but ask myself " This isn't right ". Wish I had a magic wand, so I could see this child ;hail and hearty. Found him a little nervous, they usually are when they are in new places, with new faces around. His parents were besides him, holding his hand . A real handsome couple, lovely -smiling faces, life's played a real bad joke. For a moment, I just moved back, to wipe the tears. Couldn't help but show am strong enough to handle this. The principal introduced me to little Rohan, we both shook hands, though clumsily. But for that single moment, I knew this bond was for a  lifetime. I am sure he felt the same. We looked at each other, and he gave me the cutest smile I ever saw. My journey began with him from that day onwards.

The principal asked, If I was willing to take care of this child. Oh yes! I haven't had any formal training for teaching children with special needs(rohan is suffering from CP-cerebral palsy disorder- its due to brain abnormalities- at times affects their movement, learning, thinking , hearing and seeing). But I don't know , somehow I knew, I would be able to just work with this child and help him to lead his life more better than what it is right now.

Rohan has been affectionate since day one, caring loving, but he like to be the center of attention all the time. And with the other kids around, it was difficult to keep him entertained all the time. The first month was the toughest, as he was just getting used to coming to school. He was way too pampered at home, and its obvious as it happens with special children. But slowly rohan understood what it takes to be at school, the discipline and the learning started taking place. And I never realized, my learning also started happening along with rohan. Patience is a virtue, but with rohan, I realized it takes a lot to more than patience to handle a special need child.

By default, rohan's head used to alway droop down, and I used to tell him , "Chin up" and automatically he used to get his chin up...But this used to happen, only if I demanded it. One fine day, I  had become slightly anxious, so I  told rohan, please keep your chin up for some time...for that he said" teacher , this is the most difficult part for me". Sad, thats the irony of this all, we keep on sulking for small things in life, projects not got, soul mates not met, deals not finalized etc...and here's a child for whom sitting straight or keep his chin up is difficult task. We take for granted the simplicity that is there in our lives, and here is a child who is defying all the odds and smiling with all that he has got. He understands his specialness, and yes it does pain him to know that he is not like rest. And yet he is teaching me so many things all the time. Acceptance is a paramount, the day we know that...life gets sorted automatically!....more on our journey together later on.......

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Such is life at the moment!

It’s been few days since I blogged, I have been wanting to write, but somehow I wasn't finding the time. Not that I have been busy very much. With the crutches, life has come to halt at the moment for me. But I would still say that life is beautiful in one way or the other. I find myself lucky, to have the support in whichever way I can. People who are there for me, my friends included. Lots of things have happened in last few days and everything is falling into place. Somehow the puzzles are fitting now. Life is tough, but still lovely.

There is a vibrancy , a kind of richness in the air, a sense of belonging, like the flower wanting to be held in the hand. The serenity is breathtaking. Such is life at the moment.  Everybody around is happy, some are cheerful, some are calm and some wanting to better things in their life.  So many reason and life is still beautiful in every way, whichever way you see it. It has always been like that, but sometimes circumstances are such, we can’t see the beauty. And suddenly out of the blue, you get a call and you listen to good news, a baby’s birth, someone falling in love, someone doing well in their life. I recently got a call from a friend, life’s coming full circle for him…He has been there, done everything for himself and his family and now this friend of mine has fallen in love. Never seen him like this before, but its happening. He is not himself, a side that I hadn’t seen since the time I have known. It all seems so magical, he wants to fly everywhere. I have never seen him like this, love does wonders to one souls...am really happy for him. And I know every heart that beats knows what this love about.

When you interact with different people, there are few you realize are there in your life for some purpose, they are there for some reason. And I don’t know how long they will be there. But whatever the relationship, its worthwhile till it lasts.  They bring a special ness in your life; your perspective towards life gets a makeover. And you wonder why you didn’t meet them earlier in life. But still its never to late.

When you discuss things over, you feel the puzzle is getting solved all of a sudden. It was right there, and still we couldn’t find it. As if someone is mocking us, to find what we are looking for.   The heart always knows the answer, but we have got into a set pattern of thinking, that doesn’t allow us to see the picture clearly. Our moods, our negative thoughts become obstacles in our lives. And yes these are the people who make us aware…for some its change for a life time, for some the there is a flutter in the heart, as if the heart has missed the beat. I find these people God sent, otherwise who would have thought someone so far away, would have an effect on someone sitting over here. We all need someone who can guide us, and clear the cob webs and makes sense to what life has to offer and the beauty of all this.  Just their presence is good enough to make things shift in ones life, a good enough reason to change life in one split second. These people give you a different perspective about life. 

Life totally shifts, I am finding myself all over again in a new light. Don't know where my life will lead to, but am thankful to few who came into my life now. A small wish...to be friends for life!

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The Sabudana Khichdi Delight!

Today morning, while reading the newspaper, my mom tapped me on the shoulder and kept the plate on my lap. It was slightly hot, but not much. I kept the paper aside , and looked down to see whats there. Oh!.wow!...what a lovely surprise....my favorite breakfast.   There are some breakfasts that are so tasty n at times spicy too, just the thought of it, makes you happy. Your spirits are lifted UP. You feel the need to have it right now, this moment, that's It!. That's what makes this breakfast the best. Now you might wonder whats this breakfast am talking about. Its the famous maharashtrian "Sabudana (tapioca pearls) Khichdi".

And its not just made during breakfast, sometimes people have it during tea snacks in the evening. My love for sabudana khichdi goes back to my childhood days. Mom used to make this on some Monday mornings, and me and my sister used to look forward to these mornings. Tucking at her saree, we both used to ask for one more helping. Gosh! it feels just like yesterday.  Cant get better than this and sometimes we even used to get this delight on a Sunday morning too.

Its just not the breakfast, the atmosphere at home used to be so lovely. So carefree, so inviting and relaxed. I remember those morning, we used to get everything arranged on the table..lay down the mats with the plates on. Me and my sister used to sit together almost giggling and looking at each other, when mom used to get the big bowl of sabudana khichdi and place it on the table. A large portion was given to each of us. Breakfasts are usually family time together, sipping hot tea along with this sabudana khichdi! Wow! And yes...you should see the faces, the delight used to be shown, somehow everybody looked happy. Even the conversation used to be light and friendly.

I don't know if its because of this khichdi, but I have sensed this feeling of happiness, every time we used to have this khichdi. It used to be a family time, a time of togetherness. and what a way to spend time together , cracking jokes, teasing one another....with a breakfast like this. And yes...tea always goes along with this..The combination is fabulous and I used to end up having one or two more helping of this khichdi myself. By then the tummy used to be so full, that I would get very lazy to do any work..... Cause this sabudana khichdi does make one lethargic...as it contains starch..but I would say still Ok..worth it..Its one of best breakfast you could have.

Every time I have the sabudana khichdi, it makes me nostalgic...would love to share it with all of you!  . 

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The 9pm Friends!

The other day, after my friends visit late evening...I commented on the snap, the 9pm friend. This got me thinking....about friends in general, especially these 9 'oclock friends.

What is about these 9pm friends...that make them a little different from the other friends. The others are equally as special and valuable. But the 9 pm friends are special in a special way. The wavelength is different, its as though there is an understanding of a kind. There is a comfort in their presence, no pretense , no amount of show. The acceptance is natural. They care enough to motivate you, to keep the spirit up, but they dont worry, they know that you are strong enough to face life as it comes. They know exactly the way you think. Its a frank relationship, and there is no issue of give and take, its an understood thing. No need of explanation is required. They knock on your door anytime, and you don't have to be prim and proper, just being the way you are is what is important. This is what is appreciated the most.

Sitting on the sofa, and listening to their conversation and being there in the moment with your friend is what matters in friendship. Its never about you, its always about them in the conversation.There are times, you don't have to say anything, just a pat or a hug is enough. There are times when space is paramount, and it is given without demanding. When you hear them speak on the phone, you exactly sense their tone, you exactly know what going on in their mind. These are the people, you just don't have any inhibitions, there are things they wouldn't appreciate, but they still go along cause they know how important it is for you.

They are an important part of your life, and you can discuss with them anything under the sky. Just a phone call and they would be there. There is a sense of simplicity in the relationship, there is no judgement of sort, there is only an inherent understanding of a kind. And its not necessary to be in touch, just the thought that there is someone there for you, not just when you need, but just the presence is soothing enough.

....all this is because you have formed a certain kind of bonding with a friend of yours. This bonding is not with each and every person you meet or every friend that you have in your life. It happens with only few who just come into your life and they remain in your your heart, in the place that you have given them in your life. Wherever they go, the feeling doesn't change, its just as it is or rather you grow fonder of the person as each days passes by.

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Every heart that beats!

Every heart that beats........every person in this universe, wants something to feel good about, something that would make him or her happy, make them contended. Every one around  is trying to find a place under the sky, a place to call his or own, a person that he or she can call his own.

These last few months have been different for a lot of reason, but more so...of getting to know people around me more better. Its universal, every soul is struggling in some way, for some accepting fact is a difficult task , for some getting financial independence, for some getting into shape, for some getting back on feet is priority, for some finding a soul mate, for some forgiving, for some understanding is an issue, for some making things work etc....its countless.

The journey has already begun, the day one is born, years pass by and there we are not at the fag end of life..but at the cross road. When we have to make certain decisions, and and its one of the most toughest thing that is put across to us.

When I meet people, I see countless wanting to make a difference to their lives, that includes me too. The need , the want to make a shift in their lives for better. I hear the sighs which is so often hidden,when the speak , either through chat or on call, or when they meet in person. "Will I be able to let go.. I know it makes sense, but the heart is not willing . Every night I ask God to help me let go. And it isn't just happening, why is it like this, why doesn't the heart let go, I did my best, yet i am where  i am. would the person come back in my life again, is he really right for me , am so confused"  Yes dear, I understand I feel your pain, I have been there myself and it is really tough.

"Nandita! am looking for a break. I need to get a job, it has to work now. Its been three years...and the wait still continues". Then  the phone hangs, am speechless myself and all i could mutter, it will happen. And I know it will happen...but sometimes waiting itself is a task. Everyday waiting for that one call, that you have been selected. The waiting is killing. Too many things on the mind, but just this one should get done, the rest will happen ..Sigh!...wish life was a little easier,  for that perfect job, where all the other aspects will be taken care of.

Sometimes finding the right soul mate, having everything life, yet happiness is out of sight. For that one perfect guy. Doing whatever it takes, to make things work, yet no one is sight.  "What is it in me? I am pretty, confident, intelligent, I care, but still why ain't  meeting the one meant for me. why do i just keep on chatting and keep on waiting for the other to say yes. Am even willing to wait..bu i see no respite " ...sometimes it just takes a little longer to find the right one...just have faith. am waiting for my one!...I know one day it will happen..till then...am happy with the way things are at the moment!

Some go their carefree way , to finding a moment of bliss in their lives, they have already given love and got nothing in return. Nothing serious, just a casual fling and its alright...cause somewhere they want to be feel loved and taken care of for that moment. to feel good about their lives, which is so very lonely. So a moment like this is welcome..

For some, making two ends meet is the toughest task. A mother who is raising a kid single handed-ly working for long hours, just to get food on the plate and having no social life. and is unable to forgive her ex-husband for the state that she is in. Am coaxing her to get some charm in her life back.

My recovery is taking a longer time than expected, a fracture that happened 4 months back, and  am still in the recovery phase, wanting to walk back soon, get working and start my life all over again. Right now just taking each day as it comes and being there for those who need me in their life.

That's the irony of it all, are we just forgetting  the joy of living in the present. What does it take to be happy, these wants are all that is, the desires are many and the wish list is endless..

Faith heals and I know all will get done, time will heal, everyone will find their happiness, Just living in the moment is all that matters.

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Serials and Senior Citizens!

The early morning walks are interesting, not just for the health reason. But meeting  people, there are different kinds of people around. Some wanting to reduce their weight, and some just want to maintain their fitness.especially the older generation. They are absolutely fantastic, each one is busy getting himself or herself, from being fit, to getting more fitter. And giving us youngsters some tips, from time to time.. In all this , I find one thing that is very interesting, their early morning chats, after the walk.which comprises from recipes to serials.And its interesting to know, few of them even listen intently as well.. isn't that funny. And even if you haven't seen it or don't have much interest, they get offended if you sound too casual in your approach or make fun. A very touchy issue.

There are times that you simply look at the shows that are going on and you realise, the futility of these shows. More importantly the serials that get played on the TV. No wonder it is still called the Idiot Box!

In most families, there's always someone who eagerly watches these serials. if you ever stand in front of the TV for even single sec. Can you imagine, what would you get to hear . I bet , you know the answer...I remember I happened to visit a family, there was this lady ...old, wrinkled, pretty to look at, sitting down on the floor, resting her back on a pillow, and there I saw it, her grandson, just happened to stand.in front of the TV. " Oh God!..why don't u allow me to watch at least one serial completely, side , side...why do you do this always" ...she went on and on,  till her grandson, moved out of the view. 

There are men too who watch serials, and nothing wrong about that, its sounds cute to me. studiously, finding time to watch these serials, and yes...the timers are set too..and there they are watching intently just as their wives join them. Some of them even discuss about it, the next day. They even get everything organised, so no one can call them for any work of sort or rather they put their foot sternly down and demand no disturbance. all this for the sake of watching a serial. It doesn't get funnier than this. 

There are times, I do wonder what is it in this , just sometime back I was witness to one episode of a serial " The Protagonist is being abused verbally  and taken advantage of. Too many voices around her, shouting most of the time, people were being vindictive. The background score was building up the tension. And this protagonist was taking all this mutely ". I sensed the edginess that i was feeling, Thank God! its just a serial. But I couldn't help but wonder , how can people watch this day in and day out. I looked around for some sense in all this, but it didn't matter. I realized , I might just be the reason to unnecessary tension. So be it. 

Sometimes these same people, live in fear, what if they have watched something that is not approved off. They switch off the TV, before their children come home, But some of these youngsters have the audacity just to check whether the TV was on or not, by placing their hand on the TV set. There you have it, is it really worth it. What does one get in this kind of act. Nothing, just a sadistic pleasure of making a point.

Sometimes, this is the only entertainment they have in their lives. living a stressful life, this is what they look forward to, for sometime they can forget about their life problems, and just watch someones' else life for sometime.. Sometimes seeing more pain, becomes more cathartic to oneself..as one feels at least there more pain out there than in my life.

Just let them watch, you never know maybe it might be their last show....Just be happy they are there and know that they are really not that demanding! Only  for a time, where they can just forget their lives for sometime..Don't we all want to forget our lives for some time at least!

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Worlds Greatest Grandad!

It was a Saturday afternoon, the atmosphere out was hot, but the breeze was slightly cooler than expected...yet I was perspiring . Blame it on the humidity of  mumbai.. As i was walking, the cell kept ringing at the other end, no one was picking up. I was hoping that someone will pick it up...but no. And I saw the balcony, I wished to see someone out there, but who will stand in the balcony in this hot summer afternoon. anyway...the door was locked, even the curtains were drawn so what do i do..I just climbed the stairs and rang the bell. My uncle opened the door, he looked a little flummoxed. And then said " why didnt you call, dont u know the baby is sleeping , the ringing of the bell...disturbs his sleep"..I said am sorry...but what to do I tried calling, but nobody picked up" ..where are the others. Well he didn't say anything, just went inside and closed the door and I sat on the sofa and realized , he was alone with the little baby, along with the maid. thats it. 


As I rested my head on the sofa, and closed my eyes, small small incidents came into light.  Here's a Grandfather, a robust personality, dedicated, short tempered, has a rolly-polly aura to him. Likes being with himself, wants his space and gives others their space too..But if anyone encroaches his space, then one has to bare his brunt..even the God cant save the other person...hehehehhe. But he also has a wonderful side, a side which is so beautiful, that it would bring tears to anyone who has known him at close quarters. Very warm, caring and loving person, adores his kids and does everything possible to make their life comfortable. 


Here's a man who so willingly took up the responsibility of taking care of his grandson. He does everything, even changing diaper, to singing a lullaby, to taking the baby out, to entertaining the baby, when his own parents are tied up with their work. Putting the baby to sleep is a task and he does it so well...You could just watch him with his grandson, playing with him, making funny noises, getting down on his fours and being a horse to his grandson. Its a sheer delight to watch this grandfather. Once he puts the sleeping baby in the crib, he sits in his chair and looks outside the window,so relaxed and contended with life.


He even cooks food, and even serves when it is required. I know this might not sound surprising, but very few men are made like him in this world. Such dedication is rarely seen. Even parents at times fall short of giving time to their own child. I remember the time, when during my childhood, when we were babies, my mom used to work then, and he used to come early morning at our house, just to keep me and my sis entertained, so my mom could finish the cooking, giving everyone breakfast. 


I could hear a soft tune..more like humming ..coming from across the room, where my uncle was in...It was the same tune, that used to rock me to sleep! It just felt so nice..things haven't changed a bit at all. Still the same feeling of being taken care of. My uncle has been like this since the time I have known him, always there for his family. Rightly said, a family man. Just then he came out, and asked if I did want something to eat or maybe tea or coffee...So warmly. I said will wait for the other family members to come and then will all have it together. He sat in front, looking still sleepy, I think the baby must have been awake for longer time today. He smiled warmly, and said..." in sometime the little one will be awake, so please take the baby for some time."". I simply smiled, yes..would willingly. At this age, he is 70 now... he is doing pretty well, and looks tired,  , sometimes the journey of being responsible for everyone doesn't stop ...it just increases day by day...The love for his grandson, is what makes this Grandad, the greatest I have Known..

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Matters of the Heart

The time had come, to ask something , a thought used to always cross my mind. and more often than ever. and this happened 3 yrs back .wanted to hold a baby in my arms...I was insisting my sister, can we get a good news. And she rolled her eyes and said "have you lost your mind, am just out of one diaper cleaning process , now is the time for me to relax and get going and do some work after all". I just smiled, and asked God...I hope he grants me this wish. And as luck would be, we did get a good news that my sister was expecting.

As the D-day came closer, my sister was looking more prettier than ever, but also looked exhausted. Very soon, she was in the operating theater, myself, mom, my bro-in-law and his mom...were all outside, waiting for the baby. The time was ticking, and so was my patience...as it was simply getting delayed.  The heart raced faster than before and at the same time, the nurse came out. She seemed quite tense, so there was no asking her whats happening. Kept quiet and felt as though my heart was sinking. We were all praying for things to be alright. For the first time in my life, I realized I wasn't strong enough, I just wanted my sister to be alright. and I prayed that all is well. The time was running very slow and there it was, the surgeon came out and said " Its a boy!  both the mother and the baby are fine and healthy". I simply leaped up from my seat, I couldn't believe that it was all over and that too with a news I was waiting for such a long time. We all thanked the surgeon.

And there I saw the little one, all wrapped up in a nice warm white cloth and blue strip border. I vividly remember his eyes, they were twinkling , he was purring softly like a cat , with a cute smile glued to his face.. what a cutie!...just had to hold him closer to me. Awww! what a feeling to hold him in my arms!the best feeling in the world. For that moment, I felt as if he is just mine for this life. Slowly the little one went to sleep as I rocked him comfortably, and then kept him in the small crib besides the bed. I thanked, my sister, for this gift to our family, especially to me!. My sister looked a little exhausted, guess to bring a baby into this world is an effort of a different kind. Emotionally exhausting, and yet so pleasurable, to have your own into this world. I gently pressed her toes, she stirred a little, but went back to sleep again. and i continued pressing her toes, till i saw she was sound sleep. I tucked at  my mother before leaving  for home, she too was taking her nap sitting on the chair. still looking fresh and energetic. And all set to take care of her grandson.  That's what grandmothers are made of!.Kudos!

Mom had decided to stay back at the hospital with my sister(they had done a C-sect). The little one already started showing what he is made of, making cute little noises, with some yawns and some stretching. Always wanting to get his hand out of the wrap, but the nurse used to tie him more harder. Somehow, seeing him all tied up, wasn't making me comfortable, asked the nurse, to leave the cloth wrap  loose, so that he could move his arms and legs freely. O Boy! what a freedom ! he looked at me and said thank you auntie....I  have been wanting to get free of this and now I feel so much better. I can move my arms above me. Well his eyes said these things to me....Was I happy, you bet!  Slowly moving his fingers up and down his face, touching softly. and then moving his hand above his head, and as he was doing this I could see he was tuning his vision to where his hands were. and noticed he could stretch his head till he could touch his neck! wow that was amazing!...quite acrobatic!

 And here he was pretending to be asleep, waiting for his mom to lie down and call it a day, and the exact moment he started making cute little noises all over again. Oh ho! not now baby, just sleep for a little while, guess he wanted to be held closer by his mother , so he could just listen to her heart beat and go off to sleep!..smart boy!...What if there were few more like him...I mean maybe twins, or triplets....hummmm, it was just an afterthought I had, but I was scared to ask my sister. surely to get some beating this time....LOL!

After few days, my sister was back to her place, we had decorated the place , to welcome the little one. The little one's sister was eager to hold him. With much coaxing, when the little one came home. he was softly placed in the lap of his sister...what a site!..both of them looking at each other. A picture perfect moment for all of us. One time he kept us all awake the entire night, refusing to sleep a single min. But it was worth it. My sister had all the patience, she did a pretty good job...I think all mothers do..But it was taxing, yet lovely...and I stayed with my sis for some more time, till she was comfortable to let go me. One of the best 3 months that I spent in my life, every single moment was priceless...the little noices that he used to make, to splashing of water while bathing him, the turning on the sides, his crawling on the bed and much more....that was just the begining....today the little one is all of 2 yrs! God Bless! calls me bashi (instead of maushi)...Its a joy to watch him grow. He is the apple pie of the house, adores his sister a lot. Plays by himself and yes, has a mind of his own.....more with his tactics later on........

As am writing this, find my eyes slightly moist!.....one of the most cherished memory of  my life. Its priceless. ..Moments that are treasured forever, and there are births in family that are so so special. That you want to stop the time there itself and hope that moment last for eternity. The specialness in the relationships are binding. It all begins with a thought, then a desire, to have something in life, and the moment that desire is granted, then you are witness to the most extraordinary thing in life....the growth of the child, to be able to mold the child, the freedom to express and so much more...But right now am just enjoying the process of being an aunt to my little ones( my nieces and nephews) ..and hope to hear very soon being called maushi than bashi....guess....! the bashi sounds lovely to the ears....well will ask him to stick to bashi !

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Maid Kavita!

My maid kavita.....a person who is always in a hurry to finish her work. She doesn't have a fixed time..but when she comes, she manages to finish her work in an hours time. Sometimes I wonder how does she finish all the work so fast. I mean, washing, cleaning the utensil, sweeping n mopping the floor so fast. No wonder I always call her my super fast worker. My mom has a different equation with her, loving her and reprimanding her at the same time...that's really amusing .. I ask mom, how does she do it , what if tomorrow kavita stops coming to work and leaves.. We will have to do all the work and right now am not of much help to anybody. Mom says that aint going to happen, because kavita knows how much she loves her.....LOL!


The bell rang and kavita was at our doorstep...mom had asked me to be on the sofa and have my legs up...so that i don't disturb the maid at work. And Kavita took the broom as usual but in a way, as if she was holding a rod to beat someone up.I found it hilarious..even mom too....we joked about it. And to our surprise, she said" yes tai..I want to beat my husband...and kick him too" ...I couldn't believe that...I was in split..so was mom.(not for the irony..but for the fact that I guessed it right - she did want to hit somebody), and kavita said this very casually and was smiling too....


I was curious to know the reason..then she said " I am serious tai...my life is so tough...I have 3 children to feed and this useless husband of mine doesn't do any work and my mother in-law is of no help. she asks me what will she get, if she looks after her grandchildren...now what do I tell her. Am so exhausted of this life of mine..I support my family with doing this work..but the money is not enough to feed so many mouths. I see no respite. My husband, waits for me to leave the place and pretends he is off to work..when I return back after few hours , i find him spread on the bed and drunk beyond capacity. My patience is wearing off now... Why did my mom get me married to this Guy! I wonder why"


This is the life of  millions of people, living in this country..doing menial jobs over here. Who stay in slums, and there are millions of women who have the same fate as my kavita.  Its a vicious cycle, it takes courage to break this cycle. And looking at kavita, it seems a difficult task. She is living a hand to mouth existence, I appreciate that at least she is able to feed her children. Is this enough...I don't know...somehow she is managing, but for how long...The expenses are increases and nothing is cheaper anymore. Staying in slums, has its own risks. So where does kavita go from here. She has put her children in school, but they don't study as the atmosphere is not conducive. She herself hasn't studied, forget about the ABC, she hardly knows how to count . I had suggested, she could send her children to me and I  can take their studies. But she isn't interested, she said whats the use, they will do the work that she has chosen to do. I am feeling a little dejected, there must be a way out of this...am going to find her way.


But in all this, one thing I noticed.is .kavita's spirit. Her ever smiling face, her will to come everyday to work . So many people find even such a simple task, very difficult, when the going is tough. Even I at times, feel less motivated, I push myself to do the work. Look at kavita, endlessly day n night, she slogging herself out..just to feed her little ones. Am amazed by her spirit. Is it the spirit of a mother or is it something else. But whatever it is, I admire this in Kavita. Never saying no, to any work that befalls her. and that's what I like about her. Way to Go!...Kavita...! Adore You!..just be this way. Don't know if my being there is going to help her...but am happy that I can be of some help to her in whichever way I can.

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A wonderful evening!

      

The evening rays were slipping through the curtains, and I was fiddling with my laptop as usual. Mom had told me just before leaving, that sucheta auntie would be coming home in some time. I looked up through my glasses, nodded. The sun was setting  , a feeling of calmness had set in, I could see the birds retiring to their nests and its at the same moment, the bell rang. The spell broke for just a tiny second..only to get back again to a warm feeling of meeting my aunt. It took a while for me to open the door, as I am still walking with the crutches, its almost four months now. And there she was, petite lady , her face showed everything..the years gone by. The smile still intact...her eyes expressed everything that she wanted to say. Surprised to see me opening the door, she asked me where is mom. I said she is on her way home now...and yes I did manage to convince her, that am doing my best to be as independent as possible. I gestured her to sit beside me, and  I saw her eyes were slightly damp. There was so much she wanted to share and also feeling  sorry for the state I was in. But that's not the point...I felt as if  she was wanting me to just ask her to share...I just nudged her to say whats happening in her life..and there it  was...waiting to come out....it came like an avalanche of incidents . It poured and poured. I was amazed, to what this lady has survived. And I understood, happiness come with a price..For her children, she chose to be in a marriage, where there wasn't any respect to her identity. A loveless marriage..But this petite lady , did all so well. Sitting softly on the chair, gracefully placing  her hands on her lap and talking so wonderfully. Her demure was of a lady deeply hurt, and yet she managed to keep her dignity intact. I kept my hand on her shoulder, giving her a small squeeze , saying I care. My heart just leaped t out, Oh Gosh!...everybody goes through some pain in life. 

By this time, mom had entered the room. I could smell the coffee brewing. and it was time to change into a topic that we were all wanting to talk about...the samosas! on the plate looked tempting. I couldn't help but ask my aunt to please pass on...I know it was really childish, but I had to have a very fast bite....Oh! it tasted  damn well.

And then very simplistically she continued with what she wanted to share. Its that time, I looked at my Mom, . I knew exactly what was going on in her mind. And a thought passed that even she had led a life quite similar to this friend of hers. I was witness, so were my other other siblings. Everybody has a story to tell, deep profound realities of life. At the same moment, mom looked at me, and smiled..so beautifully, our eyes were locked as if in eternity and the entire journey till this date....just flashed back in front of Us. It was acknowledgement of what we went through in life. Her smile indicated everything that she wanted to convey. That moment, i knew...her journey as my mother and as a wife to my father as well. It was the toughest journey I had witnessed. She is one of the strongest lady I have known. So here I was sitting across between two wonderful ladies of my life. Both of them stood up for what they believed in and sacrificed a lot!. 

I could notice the moistness in my aunts eyes and realized even my cheeks were wet. Mom looked serene, in control of her emotions, looking at both of us. Guess, she never showed her emotions like I do. It was getting late, but I wanted my aunt to continue...asked if she could stay back for dinner...so I get to be with her for some more time. I think even she wanted to stay back, but duty called her, she was a homemaker and she couldn't forget that. And then she said those words "nandita! it hasn't been easy at all. All my life I gave everything to this man, remained quiet. I have regrets, wish my father had allowed me to work then, but he just wanted me to get married. And I realized after some years of marriage, this is not I wanted from life. By that time I had two sons, I just kept quiet because I wanted to bring them up in life. But now I cannot handle this man anymore". oh! god so much pain huh!

Is this what women go through in life, just in the pursuit of their happiness. All they get is losing their own identity in the process..All this for nothing in return, where there is no acknowledgement of their accomplishments as a wife and a mother. So who decides this, or are these only for men to judge their women, their wives. Our beliefs are the ones, that allow us to take this mess in life. What if she could have decided otherwise, to pursue the life she wanted to lead....well that's a different topic altogether...will write about that later. 

For now...what was happening in the moment, was so beautiful. The letting go off the emotions that she was holding for so many years. I was so happy, that she could share this, without any inhibition.

It was time for her to leave, and there I saw it again, so relaxed and smiling as always...Hey that's what life is all about . With two beautiful women, sharing their lives with me....it was a wonderful evening after all. Unexpected, so connected and a wonderful moment. Wish I could get to spend some more time with them as often as I can. She rose to leave and I gave her a tight hug from where I was sitting. She promised  to meet me soon.  

She left gently, closing the door behind her, and I looked forward to meeting her again one day!  

What a wonderful evening this was!

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