Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts

The Crux of a relationship.........

Tuesday, August 16, 2011 1 comments
What is it in a relationship? Our world is centered around being in relationships. Just today while talking to a friend of mine...he said something so beautiful " what counts in today's time is relations with everyone".  By relationship....I mean any kind of relationship, be it between mother -daughter, father -son, parents and their children, brother - sister relationships , love relations, friendships, online relationships, new acquaintances , relationships between spouses, between partners...even the relationships that we maintain at work etc.....

And what does it take to make a relationship work lot of things...to start with ....there is love, commitment, values, views, emotional support , moral support, etc. Sharing our lives, our time, sharing our happiness, sorrows, and much more that we are willing to give. We are looking for love, support, the warmth, the understanding, the guidance, the nurture , the acceptance of the way we are and not to forget the security in the relationship which we have. But the most basic of them is the belief in the importance of the relationship.

When we are in love relationship , we try to seek love, care, affection from our loving partner or from parent or children. With time, we simply get attached to the person , it is the feeling that gives us this deep attachment, that's why heart breaks are unbearable. The thought of not being with a person, the thought of missing the person, becomes difficult to live with.

There are some relationships, that come at a time when things are not running smooth in our live. Its in times like these we need that one person who we can rely on, whom we can share what we want, without fearing being judged. This is an emotional relationship that exists in everyone's life. Just a look into our eyes, they would understand what our soul is going through. We don't have to tell them anything, its understood. This kind of relationship happen only with few, not with everyone we meet.

There are some relationship, just the presence around gives us enough courage to take the next step in our lives. I remember an incident that happened way back..it was my first instance of descending stairs with the help of crutches. I had the three most beautiful loving people of my life standing besides me to take the plunge. I shared the love relation with all of them, but still I couldnt take the next step. The fear had struck me. It is then that I looked up and I could see that with one of them I not only had the love relationship, but also had feeling of being supported morally. I could simply trust and just take the plunge. These relationships rely more on positive vibes, a sense of courage and something that takes us forward in life.

There are some whom we meet, who makes us feel good, they just simply pass our time, just as if we are hanging out. An entertainment of sorts...they are just there for the moment, its like looking out of the window and watching the scene in front of us move by...it just passes. By the time we are able to understand or relate,  the scene has already shifted. But nevertheless they add something to our lives, even though for few minutes.

The crux of a relationship, lies in the purpose of being in a relationship. So when in relationship do we expect others to fulfill our purpose or do we give ourselves in a relationship. How many of us are really , genuinely interested in giving, or being there in a relationship. Or are we giving something with the intention of getting something back. Do our needs , constantly needs to be fulfilled by the other person. Is there any kind of selfless relationship that one can expect.

Relationships are meant to be respected, cared, loved ..so don't expect anything rather give what you might expect in a relationship

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The 9pm Friends!

Thursday, April 14, 2011 0 comments
The other day, after my friends visit late evening...I commented on the snap, the 9pm friend. This got me thinking....about friends in general, especially these 9 'oclock friends.


What is about these 9pm friends...that make them a little different from the other friends. The others are equally as special and valuable. But the 9 pm friends are special in a special way. The wavelength is different, its as though there is an understanding of a kind. There is a comfort in their presence, no pretense , no amount of show. The acceptance is natural. They care enough to motivate you, to keep the spirit up, but they dont worry, they know that you are strong enough to face life as it comes. They know exactly the way you think. Its a frank relationship, and there is no issue of give and take, its an understood thing. No need of explanation is required. They knock on your door anytime, and you don't have to be prim and proper, just being the way you are is what is important. This is what is appreciated the most.

Sitting on the sofa, and listening to their conversation and being there in the moment with your friend is what matters in friendship. Its never about you, its always about them in the conversation.There are times, you don't have to say anything, just a pat or a hug is enough. There are times when space is paramount, and it is given without demanding. When you hear them speak on the phone, you exactly sense their tone, you exactly know what going on in their mind. These are the people, you just don't have any inhibitions, there are things they wouldn't appreciate, but they still go along cause they know how important it is for you.

They are an important part of your life, and you can discuss with them anything under the sky. Just a phone call and they would be there. There is a sense of simplicity in the relationship, there is no judgement of sort, there is only an inherent understanding of a kind. And its not necessary to be in touch, just the thought that there is someone there for you, not just when you need, but just the presence is soothing enough.

....all this is because you have formed a certain kind of bonding with a friend of yours. This bonding is not with each and every person you meet or every friend that you have in your life. It happens with only few who just come into your life and they remain in your your heart, in the place that you have given them in your life. Wherever they go, the feeling doesn't change, its just as it is or rather you grow fonder of the person as each days passes by.
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