The Rhythm....

Look around yourself, the nature has a rhythm. The sun rises, the sun sets, birds chirp , the ocean tide comes in and goes back out. The nature's cycle keeps moving.  so does the rhythm in us keeps moving within, but it moves only when we are in sync. When there is total surrender to life, to what you love doing, to loving yourself the way you.are..its only then you can feel the rhythm. It's the time when you are deeply engrossed in something, it can be your work,  it can be in the calmness of the sea, in the beauty  of the nature, or in simply listening to the music , totally oblivious of everything around you. Surrendering in the total bliss and enjoying the process...of doing what you do....it's the feeling, that you feel at that moment is what moves you in rhythm even without your knowledge.. This is the divinity , the oneness of the soul....something that touches the very core of your being and you find your life is in sync. The Rhythm, requires a little bit of structuring....cause if you notice…..nature does thrive on rhythm and order. When you have order in your life, it maintains sanity when things around us may not be. Structuring provides the stability and gives us the control over our somewhat uncontrollable lives. Yes… for some structuring might sound boring….but if you do ponder a little, structuring gets us the closer to the rhythm in our life.

And yes....like the tidal waves of the ocean, you do come across an off-beat wave...that is out of sync with your rhythm and you drift away from the shore. Some waves makes you uncomfortable, there are memories of hurt, pain , ingratitude attached and you begin to feel the pull and you allow another wave to take you in.  And then you do tell me about how you felt so contended to stay floating in the rhythm of your life, but this offbeat wave has just put you far away from your shoreline.

Here's the magic....as the song goes..." We hold all the keys to our undoing"...it's this drifting that makes you think about the shoreline...it gets you connected to yourself, to think more about the rhythm that you miss so much . And as you search back your rhythm, you see another wave coming your way......you catch a glimpse of the smiles, laughter in the wind, that soften the tensions, the walls crumble down as quickly as a cookie in your hand and you return back to the rhythm of your life. 

I find the  rhythm in your walk, in your smile, in your laugh, in your touch, in your expression, in your caring, in your loving, in everything that you do .....I feel it. You have had this rhythm since the time you were born, it's simply there. I hope you do remember it and I do hope that you can still feel the rhythm.

Waves will keep appearing on your shoreline.....you just have float to the shore and in that process you will find your rhythm!

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The Identity.....

Our identity is what we have with us, and its truly ours.....It is this identity , the perception , the concept of who we think we are , that directs and organizes our beliefs, our core values , our capabilities, actions, and behavior. Everyone of us are unique, it is this uniqueness that drives us to express ourselves creatively with passion.

It's what we stand for, it makes us the person we are, the beautiful, the amazing, the caring, the compassionate, the passionate, the loving, the gorgeous, the trustworthy, the go-getter, the pursuer, the iconic, the legend, the lawyer, the businessman, the therapist, the doctor....the list is endless...We identify with outward expressions of ourselves – our career, our family, our looks, our clothes, our home and possessions, our class, our education – all of these things reveal some aspects of our identity to a certain extent.

Beginning at birth, we lose ourselves in the sheer energy of living - in activity, in people, in beliefs, in should and ought and expectations. But what happens, when we let go off this Identity completely, that is the us, that's what makes you and me.....

Recently on one of my trips outside on my own after I started walking again, I went to visit a friend of mine.   It had been nearly a year since my last visit to her place, Yes, It almost took a year for me to walk again. And there I saw her sitting relaxed comfortably on the chair, waiting for me to join her. I admire her passion, the way she has always been with the kids. Her love for children always shown in her eyes. But this time, it seemed different, something was amiss. I could pinpoint, but I restrained myself. I simply acknowledged her the way I used to for so many years.  The spark in her twinkling eyes seemed missing, and I wondered did she knew it herself.  When we loose ourselves, we simply remain a shadow of our own identity. I looked at her eyes, the pain shown in them now. What happened , that such a passionate lady came to this state...I had my answers right in front and there were some I was wanting to know. 

When we become the shadow of our own identity, when we let go off ourselves, when we give up on ourselves to maintain, to balance our life, our relationship...do we end up loosing our identity...For some YES...they do....come what may, life doesn't seem the same, its different. It's only the others that count, somewhere they take a back seat, they simply follow. Leaving behind, what they actually want from their life, leaving behind their passion . They allow someone else decide for them just so that they can have the relationship or be in the relationship.

Yes...we do take up different roles, pertaining to the situation and the demands that life puts on us. Take a moment, is it really like this....do we really have to loose our identity. Reflect on all the different roles we choose to take on in our life, don't they help us define who we are, some roles invite us to express more of who we really are and some roles don't support us in being us. Nevertheless each role carries within a mission to be fulfilled. But these roles never suggests that we have to forgo what we really love, what we stand for, what inspires us, what makes us the person we want to be and more importantly the Identity that we created for ourselves, the identity that we love so much.

In whatever situation we find ourselves in, we can always preserve and enhance our Identity! We simply decide and get back the self, love the self .. that's all!

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Meanings.....

For everyone of us...the word "meaning" signifies a better understanding of a particular word, the end purpose or significance of something.   The point is , what meaning do we attach to the lives that we lead...to our life. The meanings that we attach to a particular incident, event, dreams and more significantly to life.

It's important to understand,  the meaning we attach to our everyday incidents, events, they  define the lives we lead. Do the meanings we attach or give makes us the person we are or takes us away from the person we want to be. It's the interpretation, that get us going, whether forward or backward. There is nothing right or wrong, its an interpretation, that we choose to have at that particular moment. It's a choice we make, a conscious decision that we choose to make and interpret at that moment. 

Does the meaning that we choose define us, takes us to or makes us the person we want to be. A lot of us lead busy lives which does get stressful at times. An incident, an event that catches us off guard, so what do we do then....how do we relate to that....do we press the panic button, or do we analyse the situation. In both the instances the meaning has already been assigned by us, the only difference being from where we approach the incident. It's overwhelming , when we are faced with a crisis, but for some the life is like a crisis as they are in the reaction mode. Does this help...no it does not cause it deprives us of the happines we so deserve in our lives.

Looking inwards within and seeing from where the meaning is coming from. What is it that we are relating the incident with...is the meaning that we attach coming from fear, anxiety or is  it coming from  a sense of freedom, where we are in charge of our resources in hand. We choose the meaning, but we need to check the source, we cannot live our life in fear of the inevitable. Cause the inevitable is what we have thought in our minds, but in reality it might not be the same. So if we notice, we are reacting to an event, in a fearful way, rather than confronting it with a stable mind, where there is a sense of certainity no matter what happens. The inner sense of certainity is what counts  and cannot be taken away unless we allow it. This is the emotional intelligence, and each and everyone of us has it , but we need consciously choose to respond rather than react by asking different questions. We need to ask " what is  great about this situation?"

It does not matter what happens, even the worst could happen but there is something good that we can still choose to find in it. Something meaningful that makes us be in charge rather than make us feel like a victim all the time.

Live with complete certainty and respond to life!

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This One Is For You.......

This is only for you, cause you deserve it, and you have been deserving it for such a long time. But  you don't know it yet, and you still don't believe you are deserving of it.

There has never been a perfect time...the perfect time is now, this moment. Well....you must be wondering what is this IT all about....let me tell you....you are truly special, beautiful and chosen one, the one who is so so deserving of Love. Most importantly you are lovable. Yes, yes you are lovable, exactly the way you are...with all your limitations, with all your faults.

This is you, with your likes, dislikes, your wants, intentions and goals. And if things are not happening in your life, if life still seems empty, know that you are still lovable. Nothing changes, irrespective the way you are at this moment.  With life misses, mismatches, adversities,  loneliness , the emptiness, know that you are still and will always be loved beyond anything in this world. No one decides who you are or what you ought to be, its only you who decides.  Acknowledge yourself, know yourself...and forgive for all the wrong things in your life, and know that you are not about all those mistakes, or all those judgement made upon you. Have compassion for your shortfalls, while rejoicing in your gifts. loving yourself , relieves you of self-judgement and self-criticism.You rarely appreciate yourself, or admire yourself for who you are as a person. You are unique in your own way, your experiences have made who you are at this moment.

What would it take for you to know that you are loved , all you got to do is start loving yourself, the way you are. And you will notice the difference that starts happening in your life. Self love is paramount, it is what set us free from everything that keeps us away from what we aspire, what we want in our lives. We often seek out people that mirror our innermost feelings, about ourselves. If we feel undeserving of love,  we will attract people into our lives that are incapable of showing it. When we stop seeking love and look inwards for the love that is already there inside us....it is then that we truly know what is love in the first place...and there is nothing more than this. All the goodness is out there waiting for you to experience  life beautifully.  The difference you start noticing, will not only help you in your relationships, but you will notice a phenomenal change in your outlook towards life, your perceptions about life.

It's nearing the end of a year, why not take this opportunity to focus your attention on this individual self of yours, the true self of being. Start experiencing the love for this self of yours, it will bring deep ease and relief. Knowing this true self of yours and loving it unconditionally is delightful in itself.  What a lovely way to end this year on a beautiful note and Start the Next year...with a renewed You.

A new meaning , a new purpose to look forward to in life.. Isn't it?

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Some Answers........

Today after a very long time I got a letter, a beautiful handwritten one.  Imagine the thrill of receiving a letter in times like this, miss those early days, when life was simpler and we could even do without the cell phones in hand. This letter, reminded me a lot of things , a whirlpool of thoughts barging in from all the areas of life, but more profoundly what I thought interesting , was it reminded me of something that we all do, every person does...is look for some validation, some justification and more importantly for some answers. We look for answers...isn't it?

Every moment of our lives, we are searching and finding answers. Wanting to find respite in our everyday lives, some answers come early, some answers take time, some are already on their way towards us, a knock on the door is enough for us to know the answer has been delivered. The Expectations sky rocket, the waiting is too much to bear, yet we keep on looking  around for the answers. At least a clue or a sign is good enough, to calm our hearts. So does the answer come....Yes it does....it comes to us in many ways, it gets delivered but we are so glued to looking for that one answer that we tend to miss, overlook what has been delivered at the moment. So are we open to acknowledge the answer, irrespective whether the answer delivered is in sync with what we expected it to be. 

The issue usually starts when the answer is not in sync with what we expected for a long time......it rattles our heads .... how long is long enough, was our wait justified, was it all worth, so much effort and yet this outcome. This is unnerving, the mind desperately starts searching for answers, to make sense of all that is in the front. It's at this moment, the mind starts looking for a scapegoat, something to be pointed at,  it goes to the level of justifying something that is frivolous in the first place. The signs were already given to us a long time ago, it's when we fail to notice the sign, that's when the issue starts creeping in. For a moment, look at the answer, exactly the way it has been delivered. And in that moment we will realize that the answer was meant to be the way it was delivered to us , nothing more or less.  Perfect the way it is... the answer was inevitable, the more we accept it at face value, the better it is for us to find an appropriate solution. I know most of the time its difficult to digest, but we still have to...It's like the child, wanting a specific toy or an ice cream , nothing seems to pacify.

The answers, when we look deeply , we will notice.....that all along we knew the answer, but somehow we were not willing to accept the outcome, accept the inevitable. Now that the inevitable has been delivered, what next.......the same answer guide us to a new change, a new life, that is waiting to be explored. An answer can change our life in an instant, it's what we do with that change that happens in our life, is what matters in the end. It's never the end of anything in life, it's only a step towards finding a new meaning, a new way, a new outlook to what has been delivered at our doorstep through the means of an answer.

Life is full of surprises and some answers are inevitable, simply take them with a pinch of salt..

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It's all about feelings!

It's been a while since I got to write , been busy with sessions. Just then, someone sent a beautiful picture of themselves in Europe. And a thought crossed, the landscape was so captivating, it took me back to my time in London,  while standing on the bridge with the Thames river flowing underneath. All I could see was the beautiful reflection of the view in front of me on the river, simply breathtaking! One of those magical moments!. It's not just about pictures, its about the way we feel. A thought crosses our mind and how we take the thought , what meaning we attach to the thought...in turn decides the way we feel. Its the way we feel when we look at a picture, it’s the way we feel about life, about the things in our lives. It can be a story, it can be a picture, it can be our work, and it can be the way we feel about a person. It all comes down to feelings in the end.

Out thoughts make up our worlds.....to an extent that our brain needs to process 60,000 thoughts on an average daily.  It's the way we process thoughts internally, some thoughts lighten up, some thoughts makes us happy, some thoughts pain us, some thoughts encourage us, some thoughts makes us feel low etc...But thoughts are there, we cant stop the thoughts coming, but we can definitely choose how we feel about the thoughts that do pop up in our heads. And this is where the feeling starts taking place, and suddenly we feel elated, happy, energetic, vibrant. And we wonder whats it about this moment that we feel like this. It's only a thought...and we feel good about it.

What is it that makes every individual, perceive his or her own experience……it’s the way he or she feels about it. When we are witness to an event happening or when we experience something in our life….the thoughts keep coming, forming sentences in our heads and it comes to what we feel about that thought in that moment. It's the thoughts and the way we relate to it, decides the way we feel about our life as a whole, about the people around us, about the relationships that we hold close to our hearts. It's the feelings that usually decides what our next step would be, what our next move will be. From the top bureaucrat to the person on the street.....it comes to only feelings in the end...its these feelings that makes us who we are as a person, the way we approach our life. 

These feelings help us to survive, help us to scan our environment the way it is. but sometimes these feelings can makes us overwhelmed, it can make us feel uncomfortable, uneasy.....Look inwards and  ask yourself ...what are the feelings connected to. As for the picture that I mentioned earlier, the feeling was nice, but sometimes the feelings are different, so what do we do then. Wait and see what you notice, you might remember something, you might hear some sound..notice some tension in some area of your body....it's a sure sign of making you aware of the things that you haven't been aware of consciously. Don't try to interpret, judge or analyse. Be open to simply notice. We may already think we know why we are feeling in a certain way but sometimes there is more to it than we think.

Am feeling good already...how about you? Am sure you too are....and if you are feeling different at the moment...you always have a choice to shift the way you feel. That means....remember the times when you felt good.  let yourself relax and get comfortable. It could be something that really happened, or something that you create , feel all those pleasant feelings.  Feel your body shift from what you are feeling , letting those feelings go. Let yourself feel feel more relaxed, stay with this feeling until you really feel connected to it.

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Take the time.........

The last session of the day....was lovely...and yet the one thing that kept ringing like bell in my head was......It's usually about feeling special, feeling loved. We do ask ourselves invariably " when was the last time I felt special or loved by someone". It's a beautiful feeling, when the soul feels appreciated, loved, hugged, felt special etc. But we end up looking for this feeling outside us, we start looking for happiness out there. For a lot many, it's acceptance that this is the life it is meant to be and it's more like resigning to fate. And one fine day...this feeling of deep emptiness crawls up to the core of our being. It's absolutely not out there...its all within us.

The day you start loving yourself....the feeling of special-ness ,  will sprite your life up.   Now the question is...do you really Take the time to love yourself, to love the way you are, without judging. The mind has been conditioned from early childhood, to look for happiness outside...it can be a person or an object. You are made to believe, this is what will make you happy, but Ironically in the process you stop  loving yourself. Honestly ask yourself, when was the last time you acknowledged your feeling, and expressed them the way you wanted it to be expressed.

Taking the time ...requires effort...and it takes time but more importantly  you have to take the time to do what you want, to tell what you want, to express yourself. With the busy lives that you lead, doing what you love doing or doing what is needed to be done..or simply doing nothing.....you get so caught up , that rarely do you take time out to appreciate your life, to love yourself or others whom you value in your life.

Taking the Time...is one aspect...that is categorically taken for granted, and yet is one of the most important aspect of our life.  I know the list is endless and wouldn't fit into a single post....But if you just put down the list it is this...

Take the time to come home to yourself everyday,
Take the time to love yourself, to express love

Take the time to know yourself, 

Take the time to acknowledge your feelings, 

Take the time to relax,
Take the time to breathe, take the time to feel the calmness within

Take the time to know someone well, to appreciate the people you love
Take the time to listen, take the time to hear
Take the time to laugh

etc....

There is nothing that is most important or least important...it is what it is....., cause each and every person is at different situation, facing different circumstances in their lives at present. 

So is it so difficult to take the time out.....No...it isn't at all....It's only when you, WILL to do it....I mean when you just decide to take the time out...When was the last time you looked at yourself, I mean taken a real good look. and you noticed how wonderful you do smile, and the happiness is shown in your eyes. If you just take the time to notice , you will definitely find something beautiful . For a moment just stop thinking what others think about you. You simply Take the time .....to appreciate what is in you, , even with your flaws , take the time to love yourself. Take the time to know yourself, see the beautiful person that is there in you. Yes....I get to hear this often...." it's been such a long time that someone said something nice, something so beautiful, I miss those moments" ......Hey Sweets!....know one thing..you will be loved for this lifetime and beyond, for now take the time to love yourself first!

Take the time to enjoy the moment that is , that is the NOW...in your life. 

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