Letting Go.......

It's been a  different day today...it began on a good note.....all things were going well and suddenly there was that call. My heart just sank for few mins. And once again my thoughts just went through a distant flashback. I knew exactly what the person at the other end must be feeling. I have experienced the same feeling and countless times. And for this one moment I wished and asked myself how long is long, is there no end to what misery someone puts oneself through. I asked myself, what next, what would it take to make things work. or is there nothing left to work. what would be the appropriate approach to this mess. Will this ever end and I don't mean the end of this world. . How long can one be at the receiving end all the time , Is there no respite to what a person goes through. Constant abuse...abuse of any kind and it simply goes on...just because someone else decides to put the blame ..And all one is left with searching a solution and that too as quickly as possible...lest the time slips away . Just blanks out...and what we are left is the moment that is there and only think about what the next step will be. 

How much do people suffer all the time..with their expectations, the expectations sky-rocket and then the disappointments just follow. And how well do people handle disappointments. Not well. Anger, hatred, jealousy, shame, guilt and more important a deep fear. A fear that can be so crippling , that to come out of it would require a lot of effort of the person. what will happen now? is this the end of my dream that I had earlier and began working on it. What will people think? how can I go back to something that I left long time. This even leads at times to the blame game and it's rampant, no stopping and when this happens.....one can be sure that no constructive solution can ever make its way up to solve the issue that happened in the first place. 

There is no forgiveness  of any kind to someone who might have sinned unintentionally or intentionally . Is there nothing in this world that cant be forgiven or healed. Why so much bitterness in life....its not just for others, but what it does to oneself....its total misery, so much suffering is unnecessary and at what cost. It only messes up the beautiful life that once was. How long will one continue this life, with no forgiveness, with fear all the time, with blame for everything that ever happened.

Healing and acceptance happens only when we let go of the pain, the misery, the disappointments that happened.in the past and the present...and its not letting go of someone we loved. Its beyond that...when one let go of something, its actually a freedom of our self. 

Share

Read more »

At Peace..........

It was the umpteenth call of the day and as I kept the receiver down. For a moment, I glanced on the open page in my diary and turned few pages back. The one thing that I noticed...every call, every session that I have taken till date...all of them, the people wanting to find solace in their lives. Everybody needs peace in their lives and in some way they aspire everyday that the healing happens and they are at peace with themselves. Issues keep arising, and an assurance at that moment gives us the peace that we have been looking at. But this can be a temporary relief and we come back to the same feeling of uneasiness  and wanting peace, searching frantically for the answers. There are scars, which run deeper than what we see on the surface and it takes time to heal. And when the healing does happen , then the Peace simply follows.

There are countless issues everyone tackles all through out and need the much awaited healing...Just a touch , a small gesture, a hug, a I-Care is enough to start the process of healing. But even this process gets delayed....the waiting, the apprehension, that one call, that one project, that one smile, that one yes, that one report, that one moment, that one deal, that one person.........it simply is endless. This follow with misery and it takes a while to come out. For some the heart breaks, the financial losses, the deteriorating health, the unexpected accident, relationship gone sore etc......can put them into a never ending spin in a deep abyss. and this leads to unresolved feelings of  sadness, anger, resentment or un-forgiveness.

The things that we aspire other than being successful, is respect, appreciation , acknowledgement ( the list is endless) for the effort that we put in..for what we believe in and yet even with all this we ain't happy , there's too much of misery going on . The journey isn't going the way we want it to go at times. Questions that most ask is " how do I live in a world, when things happen which I cant control?" " how can I find peace when I do things that I don't want to do or don't do thing that I want to do?" "how do I make someone love me the way I love the person?"...."would I be ever happy in this life?" would he/she be able to manage without me?"

If we only notice and see that with every step , in every moment of our life...there is always a healing that is  already taking place , already happening without our knowledge. It is the support that comes along in the guise of a friend, of a parent, of a tangible thing that leads us to what we are aspiring to have, it is the acceptance of the situation as it is and dealing with it in a way that helps the process of healing to happen, it is our attitude, that gets us through this journey. We can still do a lot, there's always a turn somewhere for the good, there is always something that can lift our spirits high up..be it music, be it a sport, be it a call from a distant friend, be it an article that catches our attention, be it the soft touch of our little one..tapping our cheek. Yes, this isn't the solution to the issues that we face, but yes..if we only look at these small little miracles that keep happening that will definitely lead us to the peace we have always wanting to experience. The calmness that is felt in these moments is what  Peace is all about.  And it is during these moments of peace, we just get our wishes, our desires granted.The unexpected just happens only in the moments of such wonderful peace.

Share

Read more »

The Crux of a relationship.........

What is it in a relationship? Our world is centered around being in relationships. Just today while talking to a friend of mine...he said something so beautiful " what counts in today's time is relations with everyone".  By relationship....I mean any kind of relationship, be it between mother -daughter, father -son, parents and their children, brother - sister relationships , love relations, friendships, online relationships, new acquaintances , relationships between spouses, between partners...even the relationships that we maintain at work etc.....

And what does it take to make a relationship work lot of things...to start with ....there is love, commitment, values, views, emotional support , moral support, etc. Sharing our lives, our time, sharing our happiness, sorrows, and much more that we are willing to give. We are looking for love, support, the warmth, the understanding, the guidance, the nurture , the acceptance of the way we are and not to forget the security in the relationship which we have. But the most basic of them is the belief in the importance of the relationship.

When we are in love relationship , we try to seek love, care, affection from our loving partner or from parent or children. With time, we simply get attached to the person , it is the feeling that gives us this deep attachment, that's why heart breaks are unbearable. The thought of not being with a person, the thought of missing the person, becomes difficult to live with.

There are some relationships, that come at a time when things are not running smooth in our live. Its in times like these we need that one person who we can rely on, whom we can share what we want, without fearing being judged. This is an emotional relationship that exists in everyone's life. Just a look into our eyes, they would understand what our soul is going through. We don't have to tell them anything, its understood. This kind of relationship happen only with few, not with everyone we meet.

There are some relationship, just the presence around gives us enough courage to take the next step in our lives. I remember an incident that happened way back..it was my first instance of descending stairs with the help of crutches. I had the three most beautiful loving people of my life standing besides me to take the plunge. I shared the love relation with all of them, but still I couldnt take the next step. The fear had struck me. It is then that I looked up and I could see that with one of them I not only had the love relationship, but also had feeling of being supported morally. I could simply trust and just take the plunge. These relationships rely more on positive vibes, a sense of courage and something that takes us forward in life.

There are some whom we meet, who makes us feel good, they just simply pass our time, just as if we are hanging out. An entertainment of sorts...they are just there for the moment, its like looking out of the window and watching the scene in front of us move by...it just passes. By the time we are able to understand or relate,  the scene has already shifted. But nevertheless they add something to our lives, even though for few minutes.

The crux of a relationship, lies in the purpose of being in a relationship. So when in relationship do we expect others to fulfill our purpose or do we give ourselves in a relationship. How many of us are really , genuinely interested in giving, or being there in a relationship. Or are we giving something with the intention of getting something back. Do our needs , constantly needs to be fulfilled by the other person. Is there any kind of selfless relationship that one can expect.

Relationships are meant to be respected, cared, loved ..so don't expect anything rather give what you might expect in a relationship

Share

Read more »

The Paradox in love......

Love is wonderful, all encompassing,beautiful. There is nothing as beautiful as love. Love makes the world a happier place. The feeling of oneness with the other person that we are in love with is amazing, there are no limitations,no boundaries. It's pure and sacred, when it is so heart felt. Love is what we are , its just there in us. We are not taught how to love..it is there in itself. Yet there is a Paradox, that arises time and again, it is not just in the imaginary mind. It's an action that needs to be expressed. "I love You" the three most  beautiful words that we hear or say to someone, but is that enough. It's in the action that one means, what one feels. There needs to be some kind of communication of action registered. Then its love.

We may do things to gain approval in love.We may come to them with open hearts and open arms stretched to feel the oneness, but is it expressed with the same intensity from them. Most of us, are wanting to express and feel the tenderness in love.. It's this feeling, this tenderness, is it being valued, cared, respected when all we want is to give the love that is within us. What we feel deep within, is what we express, is the other person listening to what we have to say , the willingness to be there, willingness to take the next step along with us.

The dwelling of love is within, but who we try to seek the love with, depends on the person who is in space to receive love. If the other person is not in the space to receive , then how will he or she be able to reciprocate in the same intensity. We speak of unconditional love, and expect the other to love us unconditionally, but how do we know that. If we love someone with the intention to be loved, then that is not loving unconditional it is in fact conditional love.

In today's time , there is an undue advantage taken of innocent love just for unnecessary quest for vain glory. It's so much easy to preach, write, and sing love, but it's impossible to live it. Some of them have reduced love to fabricated words in cards, plastic flower, premeditated online chats , or simply giving gifts to get the love...etc....And in turn they have successfully manipulated the one gift that God gave to mankind- LOVE.

The irrational beliefs,take its toll on the relationship that is beautiful, beliefs like", "living and loving are two different things" etc....countless thoughts keep getting justified in the name of manipulating the very own beautiful gift of love . Inaction in the face of a challenge, leads to lot of pain and suffering. The quest of selfish demands, have managed to disregard the importance of true love in one's life.

The breakdowns of communication, the lost of trust, the strong disagreements, the day to day tensions. Inside we cry out for that wonderful love to be restored, but often we find it so hard to find words or the actions to fully express our desires. Our heartaches, we cry, get angry, withdraw, feel rejected, and it is at moment like this when we honestly share that our love is the most important thing and not an issue, that we begin to communicate. In this process,we have learnt more of giving self above our personal opinion. This is the union for true love, but who has the patience, very easily one gives up.

As Shakespeare said in one of his sonnet  - " Admit impediments. love is not love : Which alters when its alteration find, Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever -fixed mark........"It is when we care for the other, a bit more than we care for ourselves. But in order to love that other, we must first love ourselves . If love is true, the answer appears and we'll find two can be one and be whole.

Love heals, Love hurts
Love starts, Love ends
Love provides, love takes
Love is when we put others before us.

I have known and experienced every one of the above paradoxes and probably could re-write this after experiencing them all over again.

Share

Read more »

Dew drop on a leaf!

As Socrates said  "mans life is like drop of a dew on a leaf" . The leaf in that moment is the support, without which the dew drop would fall to the ground, and escape our eyes. It is the same with our existence in life, when things seem uncertain, we rarely think about what life is actually offering us. And here I was sitting on my chair for a while now, the tea had gone cold. My friend was sitting right across.  At the moment, she seemed more anxious than I ever had seen before. Lot of things going on in her mind, and she was finding it tough to cope with it. Her brows seemed a little tensed and stretched....yet she looked pretty even in this. I felt the urge to touch her forehead and calm her mind, but I stopped myself and got my attention back to what she was saying and let her speak. 

When in despair, the entire world looks alien or distant. and it is at moment like these, one needs someone to confide into. Thoughts like "I don't know what to do?" , " if I could just get more love, more understanding from my family, if just one person adored me, I wouldn't be so anxious and could count myself supported".  Just pause for a moment, and think . Every single person around is supporting us in some way or the other, and even when the support isn't felt the way we need it to feel. It is making us be the person we intended to be.

When things get tough, there are many avenues that open, we just have to be alert and be available. Its never the end, we think it is, but it isn't like that. Just look around.....even the person walking on the road, is supporting us in some way...he might be working for a company that supplies us our daily network. The chair that we sit on , the bed that we lie on, the music that we listen are all part of our support system.  Even the universe is playing its part, the sun always rises, the moon always sets in...we have our day and night and that too everyday. Isn't that a support! Why not feel supported, irrespective of what life is at the moment. Its that simply, count the blessing all around and the world will manifest in itself. Even the tough life that we go through, is an indicator of what we are capable of doing with limited support.

Next time look at the dew drop, and when it fall off the leaf and hits the ground....see the way  it mounts on sunbeams to the sky!

Share

Read more »

A Place revisited again.....

While waking up in the morning today, I felt the air smell of burning dried grass. Somewhere around the window, I could see the smoke, a little misty out there, and yes...it reminded me of my childhood times, when this smokey atmosphere would fill the morning air. The bare feet walk on the man made path, feeling the roughness of the stones touching the heels along with the softness of the red soil, which added comfort to my sore heels and the process of a long walk didn't bother. Tiptoeing  outside the house and hurrying up as fast as I could, less I wake up my parents in the process of reaching a small hillock that was closer to our house.

There was a quaintness in the surrounding, the sound of the birds chirping in the distant. And with the trudging of the bullock cart on the road, along with the sweet sound of the cow bells, simply magical to the ears and the view still treasured till date. Lined up on either side of this path that led to the hillock, were few bungalows. Some of them had thatched roofs, and most of them had terracotta tiles gracing their corridor floor up till their fences, with cute little gardens in front of their porches. There was one particular house that I fancied, it had long steep stairs. And once you reached the top of the stairs ..it was a passage of sorts that stretched a little longer. Along the passage, there were three very small  windows with few doors..you can just barely enter with tucking your head in, so that you don't bump yourself  up. And then as you reached the end of the passage, it had a similar exit. Remember taking up these stair whenever I passed along this path towards the hillock.

Just a  little ahead, was a cow shed , there were leaves and some grass left burning around, the smoke filling in the early morning air . I knew what I was expecting all along through what I knew was awaiting me on the hillock. All green to the core, giving it the scent and feel of refreshment. Luscious , green paddy fields, stretched in front as long as I could take in the view. There was so much peace and quietness in the vicinity of this small hillock. Faintly hearing the cow bells in the distance, coming up the hillock and grazing to their hearts content. Few villagers sat under the shade of a gigantic tree. So picturesque, and musical for me. I can still feel being in the presence of that beautiful place I visited as a child. it feels as though am listening to the flute in the background. The calmness still edged in the mind. And in that calmness, I heard someone calling my name, and as I turned back I saw my sister coming up the hillock. And I knew, we had very little time to be up the hill. We frolicked around for a while and then grudgingly left this beautiful place.

The cell rang, and my trance was broken. I didn't pick up the call, just left it at that. A mere smoke in the air, took me back to one of my favorite places I visited as a child. I wonder how would it be now, the hillock! A place so so beautiful.....so musical is the feeling, it makes me want to go back to the place again. 

Share

Read more »

The Moment that IS......

It's one of those days, simply ecstatic. There's so much joy, the moment has been beautiful..so much fun. I don't know if I would be able to put it down. Its usually the thought behind the action, the unspoken words, or the hint behind the statement or sometimes the intended pun that makes all the difference. And there are people who do it in a subtle way, and unless one is alert, It can simply skip and just pass away. And when in moment, in the moment of the simplicity , one just says what the heart feels. It is these moment, it is the truth in these moments, that holds a special place in all the moments that we experience in our lives.

It's not what has been said that holds the key, it is the faith with which it comes out, it is the trust that just makes a simple, selfless moment so beautiful. There's a slight twinkle in the eyes, a giggle of sorts, that tells you more about how it had been.  And it is at this moment, you exactly feel the way it has been. There's a certain kind of joy in listening to these special moments, and feel privileged for the same. Countless moments like these makes one feel the simplicity that is still there intact , just as it was meant to be. Even with the complexities that hover around us, it is moments like these that bring smile and so much joy.

We have been having guests for a while at our end and on one such occasion I met a nice old gentleman,with a robust personality, having a wonderful smile. The ambiance was perfect for some soft music to be played in the background. So we put some nice old classic songs. Melodious " dil mein sama gaye sajan" ,  " khayalon mein kisi ke isi terah aaya nahi karte" or "unse pyaar ho gaya"...."do din ke liye mehman". It was a treat for the ears. I can simply go on and on. At the same time I was observing the rest in the room , all relaxed and enjoying the moment. Right beside me, I noticed the Old gentleman , with his eyes closed and deeply engrossed in the music that was playing. How wonderful he looked, relaxed and it made me think that I need to relax more and simply enjoy than worry about things happening around me at times.

Suddenly a song played, he simply turned around and said " aha! what a beautiful song, and I have had a wonderful moment related to this song". I looked a little quizzically , he smiled one more time...and said ' I cant share, with so many around...but it was a lovely moment". His smile remained intact throughout the song. He didn't have to mention,  I knew,  it must have been a magical moment with his childhood sweetheart. The heart still beats with the same fervor , as if the moment is right there and one is re-living the same moment again. A song triggering a wonderful moment as it was back then. The memories come gushing in , and one feels elated, contended and too happy. The feeling of that moment is breathtaking, nostalgic and one feels grateful for the fact that at-least it was a part of their life. Such is the beauty of these moments, which get treasured in our hearts forever.

Its there, all we have to do is  just tune in to that station to get the moment again. 

Share

Read more »